So much has happened since. The reset button was pressed, history is repeating itself. I'm back to who I was. Same situation, same place, same life. Realisation. Realising that nothing has changed. Situations are the same as before and how old am I. I'm going to die tomorrow. Why am I still sitting here.

I have learnt a lot from the past few months. I have learnt to shut ears. People talk, people say things, people insult, people tease, people don't care about how you feel. These are the devil-people. I have suffered so much that I really don't care about people no more. It's not about anger or fury. But its more of sympathy. Not for myself. But for them. How can they ever be so low as to do such a thing. I really don't understand.

There was a time when I got so fed up that I got irritable and I turned into a devil myself. But that is so un-islamic. So I chose to just take it positively and ignore. Not only ignore but also slowly let it fade into the distance. Patience.

I believe that if you work hard, you will be rewarded. If you don't wish to work hard, don't go telling people not to. We do not tell you what to do, so you have no rights to tell us to stop. We are happy and feel satisfied when we accomplish something great even if we use up half our lives doing it, and if you don't, please walk away and leave us alone.

I had a chat with a friend, an adult friend. I told him that I am gonna work hard all the way till I get a Masters degree. He said, what for? What is the point of studying so hard and wasting your life. Certificates bring you no where. You won't get a big job like how you were promised. He made a good point. All this while, we are studying and doing things because we are told do so. By our parents, by the government, by the school. So all this while, we are just animals being trained to serve the country. From day 1, we are already given a path: Kindergarten -> Primary School -> Secondary School -> JC -> Degree w/ honours -> Masters -> Government job.

See thats where I am different. I chose to break from the path and go to poly. So that is why I am stupid and low classed. The stigma.

I study hard and work towards a Masters degree not because I just wanna go with the flow or get a big job. But plainly because I want to. That is it. Call me a fanatic or a bloody fool I do not care. Because that is what I feel life is about. Not to make my parents proud, not to earn big but to make myself happy.