The orange glow of the streetlights are leading the way as I walked back from work. Moving Units is being played in my iPod. Desire! Feelings! 'Available' was the title of the track. My favourite song so far. I walked down the path behind the factory feeling like a new man. But I am burdened. Burdened with what I was exposed to today. Burdened by the desire to just let everything go.

I am a crossroads. I looked to the left, I looked to the right.

On the left is a circus. An abandoned one. Litter filled the dry soil and shrinking balloons blended the Big Top with the sky. There's no one, nothing, nothing to prove existence. Except for a particular hut. The hut is filled with laughter. Screams. Screams of joy! Oh! The pain! Oh the pleasure! Glass clanking and music is heard. Come on in boy, they said. Come on in. Take your pick. Which girl do you want. Come on. They want to do you. They all do. I have to go home I said and I have a wife. They smiled. They will be safe at home, they said. Come with us. You can go home later. Dont wait till late to get in boy, you will get cold and blue out there. You don't have to do anything. Just come in, they said, with a smile.

I went in but I didnt do anything. I just sat there and smiled. I have to go I said, maybe ill come tomorrow. I walked back to the crossroads. The dry soil at my feet turned to gold at every step. The music is everywhere. The pleasure of witnessing the acts are still trapped in my mind. Its nothing. It seems natural, human nature. I might want to do it too. Whats the harm?

So Im back at the crossroads. I wonder whats at the other side. The other path is blocked by a mountain. On top of the mountain is a glowing star. Beauty. Purity. I smiled. But how do I get to the top? Then I saw it. Looming in front of me was a giant cave. Total blackness. I guess thats the only way up. How about my family? How about my wife and children? Ill hold their hand and lead them up the mountain. There, we shall live forever. But what about the circus. I have to choose. Both promises happiness. Both. If I thread up the mountain, the pain will be all worthed it. But the circus seems better. I would be so involved with desires to the point that I am not worried about anything.

I stood there silent. The road stared at me and the trees began to sway. The clouds huddled together as though they're feeling the cold too. Then it began to drizzle. I just kept staring at my shoes. Ponies. Rainbow Ponies. Then I smiled.


I turned around and went back to where I came from. I have a wife and family to take care of.