Saturday, August 04, 2007
Hope 6:04 PM
Hope is a dangerous thing. Everyone seems to think it's a good thing, but I would disagree. People want to run into cancer wards everywhere and grant hope like pixie dust. They want you to believe that a new treatment will work. You will get better. This will be the last round of pain. I promise.
But then, when nothing works, and you fall from your pedestal of hope, there is no one there to clean of the bloody mess. And sometimes that fall doesn't just make a mess. Sometimes that fall kills you. And those fucking people who put you on that pedestal and thrust that hope upon you have just caused your death.
I can't tell you how much hope I have been forced to bleed over the last eight years. I keep being splattered on the ground, hope shattered all around me. Broken-hearted. Always broken-hearted.
I think handing a suicidal person hope is like handing them a gun. It's so much easier to accept that your life is shit when you don't believe it's supposed to be anything but. When you expect happiness, and can't find it, that is the final nail in the coffin.