Ive got to learn to calm down...

At least now I can manage my anger. But then again, I dont think im managing it. I guess its more like i'm supressing it.

Last night before I slept, he came back.

"What do you want,"

It swept into me. His face, Jackass's face, his face and her face. People I hate so much that when they die, Ill smile.

I never liked fist fights. I know Ill lose. I avoid them. Maybe thats why Im treated like a pathetic loser. Fuck off...youre not worthy for me to destroy.



My depression came back last night. Genetics it seems...boredom triggers the nerve that triggers the bomb inside me.


Badron, I forgive you. It isnt your choice nor isit mine. It comes and it goes. It takes a long time for it to leave but it does. Dont worry. I understand everything. I am you remember? It is not shameful to be like this, well...people support you ya know. I do. I want you to get well. Pills? Pills... They can help. Dont be afraid, I wont go away, we wont go away. Believe me. Trust Us.