Being the only child is good. Obviously right? You get a hell lot of allowance. All the money your parents earned are focused on you. All their love is focused on you. Their life is focused on you. You can do whatever you want. You can be whatever you want, in your own room with no disturbance. You can get all the attention you want from your mom and dad.

This is the perfect life you say...well listen up and listen good. Being the only child sucks.

Im 17 going 18, and have been the only child all my life. I want a lil bro or a lil sis. I want to be the big brother. I want to be loved and looked up as a good brother. Where's that love? Of course i have my cousins. But think about it. I am still your COUSIN. Where's the blood connection? I am a freaking stranger to you. You can look up on me, you can love me, but heck, I look up on Marilyn Manson for fucks sake! I want a brother, to play with. Heck, who the fuck am i supposed to play Monopoly with?! My MOM?! geez...But basically, ive been lonely enough. Sigh...

2 days ago, I was studying in the library alone and it hit me. What am I doing here? All alone?

When i was like 7 or 8 yrs old, I wanted a bro really badly...Then I stopped wanting it. Maybe its because I was too young and can frgt about my emotions easily. Maybe its because of my school work, distracting me from my personal life, transforming me into a mindless zombie freak. But now, when im in poly, when my life slows down, all the pain seeps back in. Ive been the only child for too long.

You can have friends, you can have a girlfriend, you can have parents, you can have cousins, but if you dont have siblings, you really are short of something; the particular love only a sibling can give.

I know you ppl out ther are like complaining, y am i being so emotional when siblings are god damn irritating maggots who sucks your life dry. Well, here's my reply: Well, you are very ungrateful. '-'

Being the only child sucks for another reason. Your parents are super protective.

"Ma, Im gonna join the rugby team"
"Cannot sayang, later your shoulder dislocated"

"Ma, I wanna learn Muay Thai kick boxing"
"Cannot sayang, later your leg break"

"Ma, I wanna learn skateboarding"
"Cannot sayang, later you fall down"

"Ma, Im going to the shop by bicycle"
"Dont sayang, later you fall down"

"Ma, Im going to Sentosa tomorrow"
"Dont go into the water ah! Later drown"

"Ma, Im going swimming"
"Dont go so deep ok? Later drown"

Ok fine...my mom do get a point. But look, if I have a brother, then at least both of us can say 'ah fuck this, well do what we want'...then get punished together. But if I say 'ah fuck this', alone...damn im really being disrespectful to my parents. Sigh...

sigh...

Another problem.

Im the only child. Well, then my mom is a mom with only one child. She doesnt work. So she gets lonely too. I dont wish to use the word irritating. But sometimes, when I go out with my friends and shes alone at home, I get guilty sometimes.

For example, that time I was studying with Charmaine at the library, she called me asking me where was I.

"Badron, where are you?"
"Im at the library. Im with Charmaine. Where are you?"

"Charmaine? Im at JE. Want me to come over?"
"Ermm...ermm...I dunno. You want to come over? Are you with Sakina?"

"Up to you. No, Im at JE, walking around...alone..by myself"
"grrrrmpfft....rrrrrmm...ookaaa-ay...you can come over if you want"

It scared Charmaine away. She packed and left. And my mom didnt turn up.

And there I was sitting alone, frustrated. I called my mom, met up with her and we went home.

geez...ah...damn

well...like what Ive said before. I am the only child but, my parents have only one child. So...Mom, Dad, thanks for the love.

-out-