Long day today. Especially when school just started. Last night I was so frightened of school that I prayed to God to kill me in my sleep. These were my exact words: "Dear God, please just kill me will ya. I do not want to go through tomorrow. If I die, all this pain will just go away. Ill leave all my sorrow behind, ill leave all my problems behind and ill leave all my love ones behind... love ones behind... behind...........behind."

Then it hit me. I mean so much to so many people. You look at me like an idol. Ive achieved only that much but u think Ive achieve greatness. I dont wish to mention names here, but hey...Im not a perfect person. I got 12 points fr O lvls because I worked till my eyes bled! I look like a decent person because I show my good side and hide my bad side! I lie! I do bad things! I..I...I know im your idol...but some people just love to compare me to you and I know you hate it...Im sorry. Dont try too hard. Dont fear me. Dont feel imtimidated by me. Sigh...I feel bad fr you everytime youre condemned while at the same time I am praised. Every parent is different. My mom is not like your mom. your mom thinks im perfect. Because she loves you and want you to be a better person. like me. better than me.

I am writing this blog to you because I know that you will never read this and I will not and cannot talk to you straight face to face. I know you. So..ya..take care...I will support you like how Ive support the rest. All the best now.

to you, bro.